Night Of The Unfriendly Elves
by Blooded
Summary: With Buffy still missing, the remaining Scoobies attempt to keep the evils of the Hellmouth at bay...


Xander skipped over the curb, tossing a wooden stake around in his hand. Trailing behind him were Cordelia, Oz and Willow.  
  
Willow and Oz were holding hands, something everyone had gotten used to by now, since their relationship had heated up after her near death encounter in the vamp attack on the Library. Cordelia, wearing a lilac dress that had no sleeves and cut off roughly six inches above her knees, had her arms crossed as she stepped up onto the path; she was bored.  
  
"I tell you, that boy gets too much delight out of this." Cordy finally said, as Xander skipped down the path. "It's embarrassing." She added, as her boy did a little twirl. He was singing something that Cordy couldn't quite make out. Finally it hit her. "Is he singing BeeGee's?" She asked, almost disgusted.  
  
Oz didn't make any other movements, but still he spoke. "There's nothing wrong with the BeeGee's."  
  
Cordy stopped walking. "We're stopping." Oz said to Willow, as they both jolted to a stop. Willow smiled, but was in her own little world, watching Xander prance down the path.  
  
"Why exactly are we out walking down empty streets at night, when I could be at The Bronze?" She asked, suddenly shocked that she'd only just realised this.  
  
The Bronze was the place that all the young adults went to if they wanted to listen to good music, hang out with their mates, or just get away from the folks. Problem was, it was a great place for Vamps to pick up a new meal.  
  
"Because Buffy's not here to do it?" Oz replied blankly.  
  
"No!" Willow interrupted, taking both Oz and Cordy by surprise. Oz, because he didn't think she was paying all that much attention to the conversation, and Cordy, because she'd hardly ever seen Willow act suddenly like that. "Even if Buffy was here, we'd still be out patrolling with her!" She said defensively.  
  
Oz kissed the tip of her nose. "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that." When he smiled, Willow felt a smile form on her own face.  
  
"No, I'm the one who should be sorry." Cordy said, watching in disgust as Xander did another little twirl and jump to the song he was singing. She started walking again.  
  
Oz pulled Willow's hand, as he too started walking forward. "We're moving again." They both followed closely behind Cordelia, but gave her enough room to rant on her own.  
  
"I think he considers himself our new leader." Willow said after a few moments of silence had graced the threesome. She was referring to Xander, who was still living it big. "Now that Buffy's gone, and everything. I think it's cute."  
  
"The only thing Xander Harris could lead us into is a children's comic store." Cordy said blankly.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with comics." Oz replied. "Some of them are even as good as books. Or better." Cordy shot him a devilish look, and not one of those sexy good ones. He shrugged it off.  
  
They all went quiet again, as Oz gently kissed Willow on the nose again. She laughed at that quietly, to which Oz again smiled.  
  
"Oh wait." Cordy said, stopping in her tracks again. "He's smarter than I gave him credit. He's led us to the park."  
  
"Got to admire intelligence." Oz joked, at Xander's expense. Although, he was sure Xander would have made the same comment had their positions been switched.  
  
Xander stopped dancing, and soon after stopped singing. Something in the trees had caught his attention. Willow and Oz came up behind him, with Cordelia, somehow, now lagging a few feet behind.  
  
"What's wrong?" Willow asked, when Xander crouched on the grass.  
  
Xander put a hand in the air, signalling her to be quiet. "Wait here."  
  
Oz, Willow and Cordelia watched on as Xander crawled his way towards the trees. "I see he's still got that commando thing going on." Oz noted, as both her, Cordy, and Willow watched on. Cordy's face was full of horror; she was dating this child?  
  
When he arrived by the trees, Xander stopped crawling, and clenched his stake tightly. His eyes filled with wonder and curiosity at what he saw. He looked a little boyish.  
  
There were Elves, probably a dozen of them, dancing around a centre tree. The Elves looked as though they'd been living on the streets for months. But, considering that they were Elves, Xander found it pretty unlikely that they'd been living on the street, per se. He immediately regretted ever thinking that, as all sorts of questions started popping into his head about where demons mostly stayed when they weren't out trying to end the world.  
  
"What the hell are those?" A voice said from behind him. Xander could almost hear his back snap, as he jumped in surprise. He rolled over, still holding the stake, to find himself looking up at Cordy, Will, and Oz. It was Cordy who had spoken.  
  
"I guess she didn't quite get the part where we agreed to be quiet." Willow said, before her eyes locked on the Elves dancing around the tree. "Wow. Are those Elves?"  
  
Oz kept watching the dancing demons. "Keep practising Xander, and you may be allowed into the club." Oz joked, referring to the dancing and singing that the Elves were doing.  
  
When standing up, Xander wiped the dirt off of his hands and knees. "Very funny."  
  
"Elves?" Cordy asked, ignoring her boyfriend's antics. "I didn't think those existed?"  
  
"Well, y'know Cordelia, you didn't know Vampires were real until about a year ago." Willow joked. Oz smiled.  
  
Cordelia wasn't impressed. "Well done, Willow. A few more wise ass remarks and you may come up with something that an Englishman would laugh at."  
  
Willow was kind of hurt by that, which Oz quickly picked up on. He put his arm around her, and she sank into him. "I find you funny." He tried to reassure her. One of those famous Willow Smiles looked back at him. Not long after, he said, "Um, guys." Xander and Cordy looked at him, and then looked to where he was nodding.  
  
Tied against the tree that the Elves were dancing around, was a small boy. He was probably no older than six. His clothes, an old tracksuit, and dirty trainers, didn't suggest that he came from a rich background. Although Xander didn't notice right away, there was a woman (she was wearing a stunning summer dress, Xander noticed), tied up too. She was the boys mother, Xander decided.  
  
"You guys ready to jingle?" Xander asked, tucking his stake firmly in his belt. He pulled it out a little again, to make sure he had easy access to it. Satisfied, he nudged it back in.  
  
"Sing a little song of our own?" Willow asked, still beaming. She knew where Xander was going with this.  
  
"I'm in." Decided Oz.  
  
"Count me out." Cordelia stepped back. "If I want to go to The Bronze, I can't go with messed up hair." She folded her arms defiantly.  
  
Xander shook his head. Sometimes, Cordelia just amazed him more than ever before. "There's a mother and child tied to a tree, surrounded by singing Elves. Singing Elves!" He just wanted to get that last part across, although he kind of got excited every time he thought of it. Singing Elves! "And all you're worried about is your hair?"  
  
"I've got to look my best." Cordelia told him. She wasn't going to budge on this. "I'm sorry that that's something you've never had to worry about, but for us pretty people, it's very important."  
  
"Oh! Is it?" Xander's voice was louder now, although Oz and Willow barely noticed. This bickering-from-nowhere thing that Xander and Cordy had was a regular gig. They'd gotten used to it. "Sorry for thinking two lives to be more important than your hair, which, by the way, already is a mess."  
  
Nobody, and that means nobody, insulted Cordy's hair and got away with it. "Oh you'll pay for that."  
  
Xander scoffed. "What're you gonna do? Hit me with your purse?" He turned to Oz, laughing. Oz only smiled, nothing else. Cordelia lifted her shoulder, so that the strap to her bag would fall down her arm. Before Xander could react, she swung her purse at him, hitting him on the side of the head. The jokester shielded his head, as Cordy put the strap back up on her shoulder. "Ow!" He exclaimed. "You hit me with your purse!"  
  
"There's plenty more where that came from, Harris."  
  
"Um, guys." Oz broke in, and both members of the warring couple turned to him. From the looks on their faces, Oz kinda wished he hadn't said anything. "I think we've been seen."  
  
Xander turned to look where both Oz and Willow were looking. Back by the tree, the Elves had stopped, and were staring at the Scoobies. It was a stare-off, and Xander had never lost a stare-off, nor would he now.  
  
For almost a whole minute they stood staring at each other. After around half of that minute, Willow asked, "What are we doing?"  
  
"We're," Oz began, making sure he didn't take his eyes off of the creatures, "staring."  
  
Cordelia, not a part of the game, turned to Oz, glowing. "We won't have to fight?"  
  
"Oh, I think it's very likely that we will fight, Ms Chase." The voice hadn't belonged to any of them.  
  
All four turned around, and were greeted by the sight of Rupert Giles, Buffy's former-Watcher. Both his hands were strongly holding the handgrip of a long sword, which was raised across his chest.  
  
"Giles?" Willow said, releieved. She always preferred it when Giles was on patrol with them. Next to Buffy, and the presumably dead Angel, Giles was the best of the gang in combat.  
  
"We will?" Dismissing any thought of greeting him, she wanted to find out if she'd be resigning herself to having to 'do battle'.  
  
Giles nodded, although his eyes would not move off of the Elves. He walked slowly through the gang, stepping ever so closer to the monsters. "Elves are notorious for their violence. Worthy foes in combat, but will resort to anything to come out victorious over-"  
  
"ENGLISHMAN!" Screamed one of the Elves, raising a finger to point at Giles. The Elves started screeching in terror, and began fleeing the scene immediately. Some even risked to run past the Scoobies.  
  
Xander, Cordelia, Oz and Willow turned to Giles. What had he been saying about 'worthy foes?'  
  
Xander put his hands on his hips, and joked, "Don't know how we got out of that one alive, Giles." Next to him, Oz laughed silently.  
  
Giles rattled his brain a few moments, before finally he remembered. "Oh yes, I'd forgotten that the Watcher's Council had slaughtered over two thirds of their kind. I don't know how I forgot that." He dropped the sword to his side, and straightened his glasses.  
  
Willow's eyes widened, and her white face saddened. "Slaughtered?"  
  
"They breed very quickly, and in large masses, Willow." Giles was getting defensive now. He didn't want Willow to think he supported barbarianism or something similar. "We banished the remainder to another dimension, if that makes you feel better."  
  
Deciding she'd been standing around too long, Cordy turned impatiently to Xander. "Are we going to The Bronze now?"  
  
Xander his head to Oz and Willow. "You two feel up to some jiggying?" Oz waited for confirmation from Willow before nodding. "And how about the bookman?"  
  
Giles ignored the nickname, although the rolling of his eyes made it quite clear that he remained unhappy with Xander's attempts to nickname him. "No no." He replied, a few seconds later. "I think I'll just untie the two people you came here to rescue." His voice had just a hint of sarcasm in it.  
  
"Great!" Cordelia rushed forward, her escape plan all set. Without slowing down, she headed for the pathway that ran down the side of the road. Xander followed quickly behind.  
  
"Damnit, Cordy! Wait up!" He shouted as he attempted to catch her up.  
  
Huffing, Giles turned to Oz and Willow, who still had Oz's arm around her shoulder. He suspected that, unlike Ms Chase and Mr Harris, both Oz and Willow's minds were on the job at hand. He was wrong.  
  
"Sure you're not going to come, Giles?" Willow asked him, innocently.  
  
Giles rubbed his right temple. "Yes, I'm sure." He stopped rubbing, and then started to make his way to the woman and child. "You two go. I'll be fine."  
  
And they did. And he was. 


End file.
